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Writer's pictureSilvana Luoni

the lifeguard (the story)

Updated: Mar 17, 2022

Losing your virginity is one of the weirdest fucking time frames of life. Now I know someone is gonna read this and be like, “What time frame? It happens one time in one session.” First of all, it took me a couple of tries through the course of a couple of months to finally lose my shit. Second, there’s more to losing your virginity than just losing your virginity. It’s about everything that leads up to it. The sexual devolopment, the progression from finding boys nasty to wanting to do the nasty with them. If you grew up in your statistical black household like me, than 9 times out of 10 you grew up with poor sex education, so you’re stuck figuring this shit out through trial and error and other people just as unexperienced as you. All of us just young, dumb, and fucking. But you know what’s worst than that time frame to me? The frame after you’ve lost your virginity and now you’re getting ready to go out in the real world and really start fucking for real. I know everyone’s case is different but for me, I lost my virginity to my high school sweetheart. So once the illusion of him being my life partner faded and reality hit, I really didn’t know how I was going to have sex with anybody else. It wasn’t because I was still emotionally invested in my ex, but simply because I just didn’t know how. There was no manual to this shit afterwards the same way it wasn’t one going in for me, so now I really was just going through trial and error. So I thought, what would be a better story of explaining trial and error fresh after losing your virginity than with this one?

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